Chemistry 101

If you go to www.OttawaSenators.com you’ll see the top headline saying “Sens Fall In Season Opener”. I don’t think fall is the best description of what happened. Perhaps “Sens trip all over themselves and make seemingly rookie mistakes in Season Opener.” There. That pretty much covers it.

On Saturday evening, I was sitting in my home with a bunch of friends (mostly Leafs fans) flipping between the Leafs getting their shit ruined by Ovie and the gang, and the Sens game. The odd thing was, we never saw any of the action as we flipped from game to game. If Brandon Dubinsky scores directly off of an Erik Karlsson misplay and I’m not there to see it, does it actually count? NHL.com says yes! The ice was always whiter in the other game (probably because it was in HD – stupid CBC).

So given the way the game played out in that 5-2 loss, I am going to talk about chemistry. Now I got a 68 in Grade 12 chemistry, so that this lesson for what its worth. My trusty textbook used to say that every element, solvent, solution, and base will have a reaction of some kind, no matter how minimal. Some will slowly dissolve into nothingness (Cheechoo), while other will explode in your face, torching you with multiple left crosses (Mike Fisher). What we need to discover is how to turn these reactions into positive energy. As SLC over at Five For Smiting pointed out in the Super-duper Game Day blog, Jonathan Cheechoo seemed nowhere to be found like salt in hot water. Filip Kuba was clearly mixed with acid, and turned into a melting pile of goo, and mixing Fishy with equal part piss and vinegar could have gotten Aaron Voros placed on the endangered list.

What we need to find now is the right BONDING agent. I know this is blathering jibberish, which means only Chris Neil will understand it, but perhaps a little more studying and a little less staying up late playing World of Warcraft (or whatever these kids are into these days) will help with the chemistry. I hope you enjoyed my day as your substitute chemistry teacher, Mr. Coach Clouston will be back in class tomorrow.

~MFP3