"Swamp Thing" - Chameleons UK

Sens fall asleep at the Wheel - lose 3-1

Hmmm….. I guess when you are a pest, your reputation truly does follow you around. Ruutu-D2 took a guillotine shot across the face from Bryce Salvador, and was clearly spitting blood out of multiple places, while crumpled over looking for his teeth. I saw it… if you were watching the game no doubt you saw it too. So why did the ref, who was no further away from the play than we were from out TVs not see it? Or did they?

I’m not stating that they are willing to overlook the personal safety of individual players, but is it a matter of reputation here? I know Ruutu is a monster iin the ice, and no doubt plays on the very edge of the rules, but there’s a sizeable difference in running around slashing guys in areas where they are protected, like shins and asses. Flossing a guys teeth is another story. With head shots being the soup of the day, why is this not being called, even against a guy like this, who may be edgy, but is no Steve Ott, or Steve Downie…. WTF?

On a side note, the Sens lost last night. It looked for most of the night they were skating in quicksand. Outside of the good hustle from the fourth line, everyone else just looked a little out of sync. I know Giggles will eventually bust out of this funk, hell, Fishy was in one for three seasons and finally busted out, so there’s hope for Jason yet.

Alfie! I’m with you dude! Throw your stick – fuck ‘em, it’s a goal anyways! Let everyone on the ice and the bench (and us at home) know that you’re f**ked off, that this is bullsh*t, and that you’re not going to take it anymore!

Sens back at the Bank tomorrow against Squirm-ette and the Ditch Pigs.

~MFP3

New Theme - YAY!

Starting today, I will be naming each blog after a song which befits each blog I am writing. It's fun with words ! SUPER!

The RULES....

There’s rules goddammit!

As the fine gents over at 6thSens discovered, even our own home town Sens fans are not immune to making terrible decisions when it comes to their jersey customization. I thought for the longest time that as a collective, the folks coming to the Kanata Salmon Can on a nightly basis were well informed, cerebral hockey fans, who put lots of thought into every hockey-related action (hence the large walk-up crowd). But as Tim and Graeme experienced against the Caps on Monday night… this is not always the case. Enter “Apollo 69”, who is his own James Dean “rebel without a clue way” has flashed his hairy balls to the world in a big fat “f**k you!” to the clearly defined system. His jersey violates not one, not two, but all three rules in jerseydom.

RULE #1 -> Don’t put your own name, or nick name, or some clever catchword on a jersey. Just don’t. Whether it’s “Apollo 69” or “He Hate Me” or whatever, you’re causing other people to mock you quietly behind your back (and in some cases loudly to your face when you don’t shut up).

RULE #2 -> If you feel as though you MUST use your own name, or a nick name, do not use an already used number. So help me god if I see another “Awesome Dad 11” jersey, I may have to buy theose two brats “Orphan 99” jerseys…oops… hehehe….

RULE #3 -> Just because you are the captain, or assistant captain of your Wednesday beer league or your Sunday church league team does not mean you can just give yourself a “C” or and “A” on this team. Hell, Fishy had to wait 8 years for his “A”… and he actually worked for it. Screw you and your low level leadership quality… save the $4 and keep the letter to yourself.

RULE #4 -> Let’s assume that these past three rules have finally struck home, and you are NOT going to make the awful decision of making an “Apollo 69” jersey. Please please please make sure your jersey choice is not anachronistic in any way. Make sure the player you are putting on it (if not pre-made) actually wore that jersey. For example, I see people wearing vintage 1990’s style Penguins jerseys with Crosby on them. Check this out… Crosby was 4 when the Pens won that first Cup, and they haven’t really revisited it in the Sid the Kid era… so… um… awkward….

Anyhow – there you have it. The rules. Follow them, or don’t, but always know… I’ll be watching (and mocking silently from afar).

~MFP3

a short coming-of-age tale....

There comes a point in every man’s life, whether you’re from Tuktoyuktuk or Timbuktu, when you need to ask the question… “are the Leafs really this terrible?” Many of those men (because the Leafs are the most watched team around the world don’cha know) are realising that yes, yes they are!

They are one of two teams yet to record a win, but the other team (the Islanders) has three OT losses to the Leafs one. They have also surrendered the most goals in the league. There are several teams who have SCORED less goals, including the Buffaslugs with a measly 4 goals in 3 games (but only 3 GA as well). For a team that was touting team defence and truculence galore, they’ve looked like an AHL club at best. With Tuuka Rask currently working on a career .667 winning percentage, and with more wins on his own this season than the Leafs, one has to wonder if he was the one that got away.

On a side note, Gustavsson’s groin issues (obviously tweaked when Alfie deked him out of his jock) seem to be better, according to FAN 590.

What does all of this have to do with the Sens? Sorry the NORTHEAST DIVISION leading Sens? Nothing at all.

Go Sens Go.

~MFP3

There's no place like home... there's no place like home...

So the Sens are about to kick off another home season tonight against the New York Highliners. Mr. Taveres will be in attendance, as will his supporting cast including that guy who scored that goal that one time, and that other guy who played on the other team last year. The Isles have tried to piece together a few solid prospects, including NCAA standout Kyle Okposo (not to be confused with Ogopogo), and the massively under-achieving Sean Bergenhiem.

With their squad being one of the weaker ones in the league, perhaps putting together back-to-back W’s could help our boys’ confidence as Boston, Montreal and Pittsburgh all lie ahead shortly. The game will be on SportsNet East tonight (probably not in HD).

On a side note for any fans actually in the Ottawa area, I have several pairs of tickets from my season package available if any of you want to go and see the team first hand. Drop me a line.

~MFP3

I love noogies!

Well well well… It’s always nice to break a funk (albeit only one game) at the demise of the Leafs. I have won myself three coffees this morning… woo! I was a little concerned when The Kuban Missile was suddenly scratched with a “lower body” injury. I personally believe that two left feet is something you can play through, but I guess the medical staff disagreed.

The game itself was pretty dull for the first ten or twelve minutes, and then the A-Train derailed Stahlberg and that seemed to put a spark under the boys. Shaun-Don potted a questionable one (god bless inconclusive replays) and then Mitch-a-lack has his lower jaw sawed off on the break. Was it a penalty shot?? MacT says ‘yes’ so I’ll go with that. I love CiCi throwing Alfie in there in that situation, as the Leaf fans hatred for him is awesome (and not at all debilitating). I think I heard my first real “go leafs go” chant around the 7:00 mark of the 3^rd, and it certainly wasn’t coming from the 3000+ empty seats in the 100 level (douchebags).

All in all, it was a solid, hard-fought victory. Coach CiCi did well, removing the kids from the D-rotation and allowing Phillichenkov and Carks+Camps to do their thing. Leclaire came up big when needed, and really, that’s all we want, everything else will flow from that.

Go Sens Go!

~MFP3

The boys over at 6thSens have a great post about the once fierce Battle of Ontario. I recommend you have a look at it certainly gives a Sens-eye-view on the matter. Yeah, the Leafs beat out the Sens in four playoff appearances HALF A DECADE AGO, and for a team with nothing to cheer for in 40+ years that may be important. It gives the wallowing hordes something to hold on to. I asked a bunch of the guys here at the office (right smack in downtown Toronto) what they thought, and here’s what I got.

“My opinion is yes, but not nearly as much as it did in the early part of the decade (2001-2004). For me, their games have less meaning because neither team is very good, there’s no bragging rights that come from beating a non-playoff team (especially if you are a non playoff team yourself) even if they are in close proximity.”

“As long as Alfredsson is on the team ,it’s a rivalry my friend…” to which I replied “Why Alfie?” … “I hate how he plays...don't like him he's a sneaky dirty player.”

I think that the first comment is (a) pretty well thought out for a LEAF fan, and (b) there is something to be said for self-realisation in a situation like this. The Yankees v. Red Sox (go SOX!) rivalry is still relevant because both teams are often fighting for tops in their division, and ultimately tops in the AL. The only sport where it seems like overall team quality DOESN’T matter is college football. One-off games each season like the Iron Bowl (Auburn v. ‘Bama), The Red River Shootout (Texas v. Oklahoma), and The Battle for Paul Bunyan’s Axe (Minnesota v. Wisconsin) all offer unadulterated hatred, of the fiercest (on field) kind.

Hockey has ebbs and flows just like any other sport. Is the passion to ignite this rivalry still there? Sure it is… all it takes is one blow out, cheap shot, or wrong thing said to the media… Enjoy, this could be the rekindling of something great.

~MFP3

Chemistry 101

If you go to www.OttawaSenators.com you’ll see the top headline saying “Sens Fall In Season Opener”. I don’t think fall is the best description of what happened. Perhaps “Sens trip all over themselves and make seemingly rookie mistakes in Season Opener.” There. That pretty much covers it.

On Saturday evening, I was sitting in my home with a bunch of friends (mostly Leafs fans) flipping between the Leafs getting their shit ruined by Ovie and the gang, and the Sens game. The odd thing was, we never saw any of the action as we flipped from game to game. If Brandon Dubinsky scores directly off of an Erik Karlsson misplay and I’m not there to see it, does it actually count? NHL.com says yes! The ice was always whiter in the other game (probably because it was in HD – stupid CBC).

So given the way the game played out in that 5-2 loss, I am going to talk about chemistry. Now I got a 68 in Grade 12 chemistry, so that this lesson for what its worth. My trusty textbook used to say that every element, solvent, solution, and base will have a reaction of some kind, no matter how minimal. Some will slowly dissolve into nothingness (Cheechoo), while other will explode in your face, torching you with multiple left crosses (Mike Fisher). What we need to discover is how to turn these reactions into positive energy. As SLC over at Five For Smiting pointed out in the Super-duper Game Day blog, Jonathan Cheechoo seemed nowhere to be found like salt in hot water. Filip Kuba was clearly mixed with acid, and turned into a melting pile of goo, and mixing Fishy with equal part piss and vinegar could have gotten Aaron Voros placed on the endangered list.

What we need to find now is the right BONDING agent. I know this is blathering jibberish, which means only Chris Neil will understand it, but perhaps a little more studying and a little less staying up late playing World of Warcraft (or whatever these kids are into these days) will help with the chemistry. I hope you enjoyed my day as your substitute chemistry teacher, Mr. Coach Clouston will be back in class tomorrow.

~MFP3

And so it begins...

Herr Doucheldorf made his Sharks debut last night. It was an awesome display. Here’s the line… (courtesy of NHL.com)

TOI: 21:32

G – 0

A – 0

-3 Rating.

Oh yeah!

~MFP3

I believe the children are our future....

With the news that yet another AHL prospect in the Senators system has requested to be moved for a better shot at NHL ice time, I think its time to study the changes that The Bryan has made in drafting policy. Given that there are several holes in the IIHF transfer policy, it is getting tougher and tougher for teams to get their Russian and Czech prospects to come to North America, especially given that the KHL is a financially viable alternative.

Bryan Murray has decided to keep his picks close to home, choosing only 4 players from foreign leagues since he was placed in the GM role before the 2007 draft. Of those four (all of whom are Swedish) two are already established with North American teams: Eric Karlsson, with the big club, and goalie Robin Lehner in the OHL with the Soo Greyhounds. This shift is giving the Senators a clear advantage by getting these players into the North American system early, and getting them used to the standardized ice, and styles of play. I am by no means anti-Euro from a player scouting perspective, but when both immediate and long term needs can be addressed by players who are already familiar with the style of play, and who have an attachment to the league already by watching it growing up, and know the systems in place.

Outside of the four Swedes, B-Mur has spread himself around, taking eight Tier 2/USHL kids (most of whom go on to the NCAA), two NCAA players, and a smattering of guys from the west and form the Q.

Local = Accessible.

Keep up the good work Bryan-san. No more Dmitri Megalinskiy’s, or Vitaly Atsushov’s I SAY!!!

~MFP3

I understand that we are a hockey loving country, although studies would have you believe that the fanaticism this country once had for the fastest game on ice is waning. I enjoy a good highlight package, or daily review show as much as the next guy…. But why in God’s name do we need a TSN Fantasy Draft Show? Seriously.

Anyone worth their salt did their fantasy draft weeks if not months ago, like my three pools. Tim over that the6thsens had arguably the LATEST draft I’ve ever taken part in, on the Sunday previous to the start, but come one. We have the season preview, season Review, draft special, free agent frenzy, playoff PREview, deadline day coverage, and THAT’S HOCKEY! every f**king night. And now this? Worse yet, these guys were shown for the buffoons they are when Craig Conroy, as a guest drafter, LAST SEASON picked after everyone else had gone, and STILL beat Keith Jones.

I digress. As we are upon the start of the season, none of this matters, as the greatest game in the world is ready to begin.

~MFP3

Douch-tastic!

Courtesy: PC

Well, its finally done, and everyone can relax. Lets look at this deal for the beauty of what it is... we got rid of a want-away cancer, and received a two-way guy, a pick, and a hunka-hunka burnin' energy in The Cheechoo Train.

Look at it like this:

Heatley 50 goal seasons: 2

Cheechoo 50 goal seasons: 1

*nudge nudge* Not too shabby.

In Michalak, you get a REALLY poor man's Datsyuk, or a REALLY rich man's John Madden, either way, for 5 more years, you'll see him patrolling BOTH end of the ice. Not to diparriage certain OTHER guys on this team making four-and-change, but 60+ point is nothing to scoff at *cough fishy*.

~MFP out!

untitled

Wow, it’s been awhile. Sorry for the longer than expected hiatus. I guess not posting since January hasn’t made much of a dent in the blogosphere, but I guess I will try to change that starting from the beginning of camp. Leading in to September, the boys have been through a fair bit. Nothing necessarily that needs to be rehashed over and over again as the mainstream media loves to do. Many figured by September 1 this team would look a lot different, but really, it’s not. Gator has decided to pack it up after a great career. He was one of the really great locker room guys out there, which is exactly why The Bryan brought him in.

We’re also starting to restock the shelves after Mucks’ love of the European kids has slowly worn off. It seems that the NCAA favouritism that the Bryan is showing may start to pay off dividends as kids like Jimmy O’Brien, Patrick Wiercioch, Erik Condra, and our boy Belli have all made the jump. Other prospects like Big Karl(sson, Matti), and Little Karl(sson, Erik) Zack Smith, and finally (FINALLY) BLee and C-Bass look ready. Many of these guys are by no means game breakers, but the ones that ARE rarely win by themselves, so these lads will be counted upon to shoulder the burden more and more as we go along.

Finally, the ‘core’. With Volchy being the main guy up after this season, things look to stay status quo among the mainstays. Alfie, Spezz, the Rig, Fishy, the Ginger Dandy, and the Kuban Missle will carry the bulk of the minutes. With Pascal “Milky Chocolate” Leclaire, and Belli doing the pipe dance this year, solid goaltending may not be as big an issue as in the past.

I guess now its time to see if there’s any surprises out there… 5 weeks and counting….

Its good to be back!

Sens give the Blues the... erm... blues (shit!)

The really shitty part about living in TO and NOT having centre ice is that there are about 5 Senators games on TV this season. That being said, I have become a fan of online streaming. Last night was one that I had been looking forward to, as my Alfie 3^rd jersey AND my David Backes Blues jersey both arrived within the last week. This Blues team is a VERY young team, who make a lot of rookie mistakes, but mark my words, in a couple seasons this division will be the most competitive in hockey, and damn they are just fun to watch. Last night, those rookie mistakes came back to haunt them as the Sens walked out of the Scottrade Centre with a hard fought 3-1 victory.

THE APPETIZER:

The Sens are trying to keep momentum up as they make their push to the playoffs. You could see the intensity in their skating during the warm-up, and you just KNEW they were piecing this thing together. Three months too late, but it’s a start.

THE MAIN COURSE:

Since it seems to finally be in season, I’ll have the FISH please, with a healthy side of TOI and the rosemary potatoes. Fishy Fishy Fishy, where have you been all season dude. You have the ability to be one of the best two-way threats in the league. 20 goals, and a Selke nomination year in-year out should NOT be out of the realm of possibility. Two goals including a shorty, and more intensity than I’ve seen from the ENTIRE TEAM on some nights, I hope you can keep this up.

DESSERT:

Well done Pete. Good hustle, good hands, you’ve got a future here kid.

HAIR IN THE SOUP:

Why do the D-Mean need to take a nap for the last 5 minutes of the 2^nd EVERY night? They clearly need to go to IKEA, where all Almtorp mattresses and frames are on sale.

So there you have it. Next up, the BJs in C-BUS (or however you crazy kids say it these days…)

~G

Red rover, red rover, let THAT GUY come over!!

Everyone play fantasy manager at some point in the hockey season. Whether you have a pool (I’m second in mine right now), or play NHL09 for Xbox, or what have you, we always want to have our favourite players, or the BEST players on our team. With the trade deadline a little over a month away, maybe its time to have a little fun of our own. I am going to go through the other 29 teams, and take ONE player who’s OFF the radar as far as hype, and stardom (and more than likely All-Star votes, except for when I get to Montreal, where EVERYONE got All-Star votes). If you’re a hockey fan, you’ll know most of these guys. Remember, this is only my wish list, feel free to add your own. Let’s start in our home conference, the NORTHEAST.

Boston Bruins – Milan Lucic – F

This kid made his name at the 2007 Memorial cup, helping host Vancouver win the title against new rival Medicine Hat. This was his second season with the Giants after helping them to a WHL title in 2006. He was drafted by Boston in 2006, 50^th overall. The kid’s got a pretty deft scoring touch for a guy who could also lead the league in penalty minutes. He’d slap your mother around if he thought it would help the Bruins win. Many liken him to former Boston great Cam Neely. Could Lucic score 50? Doubt it, but can anyone outside of the big three do it either? GRADE: A

Buffalo Sabres – Tim Connolly – F

Second line centre anyone? Tim has proven to be a wizard with the puck, when he’s healthy. He has a pretty good scoring punch, when he’s healthy. He’s a proven vocal leader in the locker room, when he’s healthy. When healthy, he could be a point per game guy, but ever since Pistol Peter Schaefer smoked him coming across centre ice, he’s never been the same. I’d like to see him back at full capacity with the red and black on. GRADE: B-

Montreal Canadiens – Tomas Plekanec – F

He could slide his way onto the first line to provide a little speed, and event things out a little. He’s quick onto the puck, but when there’s contact involved, he’s also quick onto his belly, in that oh-so Marty Havlat kind of way. That being said, you can’t ignore his offensive abilities, now if you could just get him to come back inside his own blue line, all would be dandy in the world. GRADE: B+

Toronto Maple Leafs – Tomas Kaberle – D

I loathe having to make this pick. Yes, I hate the Leafs. Aside from that, despite the standings, this Leaf team is still fucking terrible, and Kaberle is the best they have to offer. Yes he can move the puck, which w could REALLY use right now, but he can be a bit of a liability in his own end (which we already suffer from). Ultimately, he’s the only choice that would make any sense off this team, save a shot at Mikhail Grabovsky, who Montreal is ruing getting rid of. It hurts my teeth to even do this, but… GRADE: C+

So there is one division down, up next, the Atlantic division, where up is down, and where hookers disappear like Leafs from the playoffs.

~G

You know what REALLY grinds my gears? SENS 3 - CAPS 2

When I was in 2^nd year uni, I took an intro psychology course thinking it’d be a bird (and that I would just con the girl next to me to give me her notes from any class I missed). Neither of those things happened, which is why I still can not explain what is happening inside the heads of our beloved Janitors. They came out flying in the first. They were in control of the puck, weren’t taking too many stupid penalties, and were holding the Caps stars, especially AO in check. Heater potted a pair hopping back up on his horse as one of the pre-eminent snipers in the game, and then they went all Keyser Söze on us, and disappeared.

t frustrates me to watch this. Anyhow, here is your game recap:

THE APPETIZER:

It’s the GREAT ‘8’. We win, awesome, we lose, awesome. I feel privileged (as much as you CAN at $50/seat) to get to watch this guy play. I love the vigour, I love the energy, and man he comes up with some pretty shit, even if it doesn’t go in.

THE MAIN COURSE:

Two from Heater in the 1^st should have it under wraps right? RIGHT? The scrubs pulled this one out of the hat. Brendan “Get your runs from the border” Bell comes up with a HUGE PP goal before we inevitably lose in a shootout. Peter Regin looked good tonight. Lots of spunk (which I expect from a 21 year old), and I really think he brought up the play of Fishy and Little Nicky, as they has to bust ass to keep up with the kid. That being said, each of them took STUPID penalties. Fishy, I love you dude, but this isn’t RED ROVER, and Nick… Sergei Fedorov has perfect hair, you helping him comb it with your blade isn’t gonna help.

THE DESSERT:

Belli looked pretty good. Yes, he need to work on his rebound control, but his athleticism is keeping him in the games… sound familiar? Don’t flake on us kid, ask Comrade Emery how that’s working out for him. I love how the bald cyborg spends two and a half periods pointing out Belli’s flaws, and then he’s THE MONSTER, HE’S THE MONSTER I SAY!!!

HAIR IN THE SOUP:

As we have seen many times this year, no lead is safe, especially the dreaded 2-0 lead (which Ottawa has now blown 9 times this season (winning 5 of those games).

Up next – the ALL-STAR EXTRAVAGANZA !!!!

Waterjug Chatter

I bumped into a former (fairly) high profile NHL GM going for coffee this morning. I have seen him hit up my Starfucks every morning at 10:00am, but today I decided to talk to him, so I asked (out of nowhere) “what do the Sens need to get this thing turned around?”. He was sort of taken aback, since I’m guessing he thought his NHL logo ball cap was keeping him anonymous (and I didn’t bother to introduce myself, or ask his approval for the question). To no one’s surprise I’m sure, he said “a puck mover”. I figured he answered me, so I might as well press my luck. “Are there any $2 mil or less guys to be had? Who’d you get?” It seemed like a water jug talk with that creepy secretive guy from the 5^th floor, but whatever. Here’s what he said. “Outside of Doughty, any of the Kings young guys can be had for the right return, and it’s nowhere as high as you’d think.”

Now I am not trying to be Eklund or any of those twits, I’m just stating what was said to me by a guy who says these things on TV a lot. I’d love to pluck one of those young guys out of LA, that would be super, and if it costs me an Ilya Zubov or a Peter Regin and pick, then so be it.

Any requests for questions should I meet up with him tomorrow?

~G

And I might have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling kids…..

I must confess that I did not see the loss to the Habs. I was driving back from Buffalo to Toronto in a pseudo-blizzard, and fearing for my life as the idiots driving around us were all over the friggin place, but I digress. I’ve been to this game many times before, especially this year. Sitting calmly in section 323, Row M, seat 16 watching all the fans wearing another teams jersey invade my section, my row, or sitting right beside me, and extolling the virtues of how great their team is, and how shitty mine is. They seem to forget how things used to be. They never used to show their faces around here, but now they feast upon the already injured beast, and swoop in for the kill. To that end, I say fuck you HABS fan, so watch some soccer and leave me alone. I say fuck you LEAFS fan, you’ll be dead LONG before your team wins a cup. Fuck you PENGUINS fan, your team is barely winning now, wait until all those juicy contract are up in the next couple years. Am I bitter? Hell yeah I’m bitter. I expect more from this team, especially given the talented players that are still here.

As far as the game is concerned, there’s nothing for me to say that the OBC hasn’t already covered. So I will say only this. We have a few young players in VERY key positions. Whether they are NHL ready or not, they are here… and they need our support.

BLee – you played well, I know you’re trying out there every night playing hard when others aren’t. Keep your energy up, and your turnovers down, and you and I are good.

Belli – Relax. See the puck. You’re a damn fine goaltender. I know you’ll make mistakes, we all do. I own a Yankees jersey (go SOX!)

Keep on keepin’ on lads.

~G

This one time, at band camp....

Okay. It’s nearly the weekend. You and your boys (and if you’re REALLY lucky, your girls) are going to hunker down at home, or at a bar and watch your favourite professional hockey team try to string together their third straight win, or skate skate skate towards that 1^st overall pick possibility… Are they winning and everyone is happy??? Are they getting killed and you’re bored to tears??? In the case of my boy SLC over at www.fiveforsmiting.blogspot.com , is there booze around??? Then let me enlighten you my fellow friends and drunks, with the greatest drinking game of all time. Now now LEAF fans, I’m not here to steal your thunder and let everyone in on the Bryan McCabe Turnover Game… that one belongs to you.

This game was created one booze filled evening at the Brig down in the market. Those of you knowing the exact place I am talking about will shake your heads and say “Oh Christ, I can see where this is going…” It’s very similar to Around The World. You know, where everyone shows off their knowledge of geography by rhyming off names of countries in alphabetical order. Yup, we’ve all tried to impress some beautiful woman (or some drunk chick) by coming up with Oman, or arguing that because Ossterreich is Austria in German that it should still count for ‘O’.

There are really three levels to this game.

(1) BEGINNER: You only use currently active NHL players. Yeah yeah, guys on two-ways who have played (or at least made one TSN NONOUR ROLL this year count. Bonus points can be given out however you see fit. We like to give bonuses for DOUBLE letter names like Andrew Alberts. Usually a time frame of 5 seconds should be sufficient, but I am not very lenient. You get to drink every time you fuck up, and after each alphabetical round, the round’s ‘loser’ drinks again.

(2) INTERMEDIATE: Current players AND former players count. Again, bonus points can be doled out for pretty much anything. Par example, last time, even though I missed ‘K’ and stumbled on ‘Z’ in the fourth round, I received a pass for getting Lou Franceschetti. That’s right – Lou Franceschetti.

(3) EXPERT: Former players ONLY. If you have to resort to HALL OF FAMERS like Gretzky, Richard, Orr, and so on, it should DEFINITELY be held against you and you should be ashamed of yourself. Again, bonuses for Bob Beers, or Zarley Zalapsky are encouraged. This particular evolution of the game was created on the drive home, and my driver and I played from the off-ramp to Kemptville, to the west side of Peterborough. Impressive. Just ask Scott Scissions.

I hope this little adventure gets you right shitty sometime in the near future.

Cheers,

~G

Anyone know the words to that "Nah Nah Hey Hey Goodbye" song?

Ah the "Gerbil" has finally taken his last stroll down the clear plastic tube of Scotiabank Place (I've been down there, and my description is totally somewhat accurate). Many saw this coming, and even more hoped it would be a hell of a lot sooner. That being said, the guy was a good team player about the whole thing. He knows deep down he stole Ray Emery's job, so in a pair of tits for tat, he had Alex Auld and Belli come and steal his. It happens, just ask Mike Dunham.

See you later Gerbs, no longer shall I see you scurrying around the crease, and the incessant noise from your rusty wheel will no longer keep me awake at night. You're buried in the back yard along side, Tugger, Hasek, The "Limey", Razor, and the rest of the "saviours".

~G

Are we human? Or are we denser?... probably...

I’m so glad this whole moustache thing is done. Some of the guys looked absolutely terrible. Now don’t get me wrong, team building is VERY important, especially when your confidence is so fractured that you could pick up one of the pieces and stab yourself in the eyes with it. That being said, everyone growing moustaches together (as opposed to playoff beards, which I also grow, to my bosses delight) could be one of the worst ideas ever. Blee can’t even grow one yet you bastards!!! Talk about outside looking in!! Not to be exclusionary, but the NEXT time you guys decide to do this, Chris “VOTE FOR PEDRO” Kelly, and “Creepy Uncle” Antoine are banned. The only person in this league who is allowed to keep a moustache is George Parros. Back to a KILLERS music video with the lot of you!!!

After last night’s surprising come from behind shocker, I was going to lay low for a few days, and enjoy the crisp winter smog down here in T.O. – but alas no luck. I intend to continue my review of the upcoming draft, especially after the CHL prospects shenanigans last night.

Y’all come back now.

~G

Once is chance, two is conincidence...

Well well well. 3-2 Sens. I am somewhat impressed. The Bryan throws down the gauntlet, threatening jobs, and roster spots if they don't start to show up, and I'm sort of conflicted. If the point standard for the 8h spot is at least 90 points then the lads need to win around 30 of the remaining 40 games... for 8th. Fine. I know the best thing for them is to ride this thing out, finish in the bottom 5, get a great pick, and slice off the fat in the off season. But MAN! I love watching these guys win like I know they can.

That being said, most of this team looked good tonight. The two Thrashers goals were off defensive miscue which left Elliott one-on-one with Kozlov (he may be old, but I'll take Kozlov most days), and a terrible rebound that Elliott SHOULD have eaten up. Two noticeable mistakes. Two. I'll take it.

THE APPETIZER:

The Sens started the game flying. This was surprising especially after getting off the plane after last night's game at 4am. All four lines got a shift in the first 3 minutes of the game... and man did they all roll.

THE MAIN COURSE:

Ottawa had only one ONCE this year after giving up the first goal. ONCE. Not tonight. They had an answer for every Atlanta move, every goal, and every shot after the whistle. All four lines rolled, including a great stretch pass from Ruutu-D2 to Deano, and Blee making about a half dozen really nice breakout passes reminiscent of the Powder Prince in his heyday.

DESSERT:

When Elliott needed to, he shut the door. That makes four NHL starts, and four SOLID games. I like this kid a lot, and so does the bald cyborg, making no less than 117 references to Elliott being drafted 291st overall. Go get 'em kid.

HAIR IN THE SOUP:

No one wants to hit opposing players as they slid across the top of our blueline. I want A-TRAIN back. Now.

Up next: Montreal @ Ottawa - Saturday

See you all then.

~G

BTW - for a great daily wrap of all things awesome, checkout these guys...

http://senatecommittee.blogspot.com/

Well F#@K me sideways....

Well well well, a 5-1 Janitors win. I'm not going to lie... I was shitting my pants. There is no reason this team should be fearing the 8th place Blurricanes, but there we were. And with "Uh-oh" Joe in the lineup, who knows what might have happened.

The boys looked great from beginning to end (aside from about five minutes worth in the second. Belli and Blee both looked great, with Fishy, Deano, and especialy the Big Rig potting one towards the end, it was the feel good game of the season. On a sad note, my dreams of a big 6'4 Swede donning the red, white, and black may take a short hiatus, until we et back onto the losing streak we've come to know and love lately. As is is... here is my synopsis.

The Appetizer:

Heater scores early on a great spinning feed into the sot from Dr. Giggles (surgical precision that is) and buries it upstairs, taking Cam Ward's unibrow with it.

The Main Course:

5 Goals. 5 mutherf#%@ing goals.

Dessert:

Did I Mention 5 goals??

Hair in the Soup:

Goddamn Joe Corvo with a PP goal. Oh for the days of Steve Duschesne....



Hope yo all enjoyed it s much as I did. Tommorow against the Splashers in the next game... can this team push for two?

~G

"Breakfasts come and go Renee, but Hartford... the WHALE, they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime"

Up in a couple hours time, our lads take the ice against the Blurricanes.

CAROLINA - 21-17-5 - 2nd in SOUTHEAST - 8th in the EASTERN CONFERENCE
OTTAWA - 13-26-4 - 5th in NORTHEAST - 14th in the EASTERN CONFERENCE

As if. Hopefully "Uh-oh Joe" is out with the flu, as he has owned our ass.

MOMENT I WOULD MOST LIKE TO SEE:

"Uh-oh" give it away to Alfie through the middle with 1:24 to play for the game winner.

Good luck lads - back with a recap tomorrow.

~G

Man! It's drafty in here!!

Now that we have reached a a point in the season where it's clear that at best, we will struggle for the 8th spot, and at worst, we'll slide right on down to the 30th spot (may Jeebus be with you) It's time to look beyond the shit storm right in front of our face, and ahead to a breath of fresh Kanata cow patty air. That's right... the 2009 NHL Draft.

I would love to see those silly bitches in Montreal with their Stanley Cups (praise be to him), and their Hall of Famers, and their poutine, and their crazy women (and drivers) do one over on the festivities the great city of Ottawa held last year. It was madness, it was mayhem. There were trades, and picks flying every which way, and through the middle of it all, the Sens moved up to the 15th spot and took a little 5'11 IKEA lamp name Erik Karlsson.... and the crowd went silent. I thought to myself what the fuck?

Then, 6 months later I sit in the corner of the Powerade Centre in Brampton, 10th row, and watch this kid absolutely dismantle the Czech defense. He moves the puck like Paul Coffey, skates like our beloved captain, and can see the play develop in a split second like a sub captain at periscope depth. He was fucking brilliant. It made me think twice about what I had felt at the Salmon Can back in June. I renewed my faith in what has been a wavering scouting system, and draft day moves.

Now to this year. Ottawa looks like they are destined for a top-10 pick, and EVERYONE is talking about Tavares and Hedman, but this draft is a little deeper than some may think. Once Atlanta takes Hedman, and the Islanders set up another great North American kid to wallow in the wasteland that is LONG ISLAND (sorry Isles fans, but at least you don't have to go to Newark), you still have 217 OTHER picks.

So now what? You are the Bryan, and you, little Lord Fondle Roy, the Euge, and several of your finest are there at the table with your 7th over all pick (because I assume the Leafs will still do worse than we will). At the end of November, ISS released their Top 30 rankings, so lets have a look shall we? Beyond JT and MH, there are very interesting prospects within Ottawa's reach, including a couple home-grown talents, and a couple guys we saw on losing sides in the WJCs over Xmas.

Ranked 4th - Matt Duchene - C - 5'11/196 - OHL Brampton
** Matt is a solid playmaker down the middle, and after finding his scoring touch last year with 30G/20A, he has taken on more of a sharing role with 20G/30A through 32 games.

Ranked 5th - Magnus Svensson-Pääjärvi - LW - 6'1/205 - SweE Timra
** this kid was balls through the WJC . He may have only had 5 pts in 6 games, but he was one of the very few Swedes who didn't come away from the tourney looking like douchbags (ahem Markstrom)

Ranked 8th - Evander Kane - 5'11/160 - WHL Vancouver
** This kid reminds me so much of Ray Ferraro, how he bounces around the ice following the puck, and rolling through anyone who gets near it. As an energy guy, should he be ranked this high? who's to say

Ranked 10 - Brayden Schenn - 6'0/196 - WHL Brandon
** Man, we loves our WHL D-Men. Think his big brother is doing alright in Toronto? think of how good the BETTER brother could be with a little seasoning.

Almost makes me wish the season was over now.

Next up for the Janitors, The Hartford Wha... shit, the Carolina Blurricanes tomorrow night. Good luck boys.

~G

...and so it begins.

So this is it. I have sat by long enough. I have filled myself with enough anger and frustration that I need to let it out somewhere. So what better place, than the oasis of unsolicited opinion, the ocean of op-ed myopathy... that's right... the good old interweb. So this is the intro to what will hopefully be a long and successful run ranting and raving about my team, and if you are reading this, probably YOUR team. Les Senateurs d'Ottawa.

Just to give you a bit of background, I am not mindlessly blogging out of misguided rage. As a fellow blogger in the list to the right call them, the "mouth breathing troglodytes" have no domain here. What I will try to give you is my honest ideas about where, why, and how this team is going where it's going.

So enough with the blah blah blah. I'm a diehard, season ticket holder living (and more than likely dying) in Toronto. I am surrounded by Leafers, and idiots, and the dregs of society. More than anything, I long to be with my lady at the Kanata Salmon Can, watching my boys take the piss out of anyone who;s willing to show up. Sadly, those days have vanished for now. For now, but mark my words bitches, the red white and black attack will be back, and sooner than most of you may think.

~G